Tag Archives: new years

‘Obligers’: Lend me your ear… A sort-of New Year Resolution post

Around December or January I usually write a post that’s a bit New Years resolution-y. Not because I necessarily plan to, but because, along with nearly everyone else in the population, it’s that time of year when I’m reflecting on life more than usual (which is saying something, because I’m constantly over-thinking anyway!). The New Year, and my birthday, are particularly angsty times. A year ago, I was angsting about being an obliger. Two years ago, I was angsting about how my resolution to reduce my social media use the year prior to that had been unsuccessful, and I just regurgitated the same resolution. In fact, still constantly working on that one…

Someone recently asked me if I had any resolutions for this year, and I was like, ‘Nah… Not really. There’s things I want to change this year but no particular resolutions.’ Thinking about it later, I realised that I actually do – they just snuck up on me in such an unusually ‘resolved’ way, I hadn’t quite noticed.

In 2017, I allowed my self-worth to get so low, I spent much of the year feeling like a Complete Failure in Life. I lost my sense of purpose and direction, my passion and drive, and I became resigned to being a disappointment to myself. From my backseat, I observed, with depressive mild interest, how other people seemed to be able to Achieve Things in Life. Not helped by recurring sickness, I basically wallowed in various states of (functional) despair, feeling confused and guilty about why I was experiencing this, given I have such a lucky and lovely life. Continue reading

My 2015 New Year’s Resolutions were… unsuccessful.

A year ago, I wrote about my ‘resolution’ for 2015: to use social media more mindfully. Less, yes, but specifically more deliberately – not in the absent-minded, scattered, trying-to-fill-a-hole-in-time kind of way. Refreshing Facebook in the hope that some interesting article will appear, to occupy my brain momentarily and make me feel like I’ve spent that time in a worthwhile manner.

For the first part of the year, I did alright. I had rules for myself around when I could check in with social media during the day. It was kind of liberating, and useful when I started studying again and needed to focus. Then it started to sneak back in dribs and drabs, until suddenly I’m grazing on social media while lying in bed again. The blurring of lines also came about, I think, due to the connections and friendships I developed with people online – some of whom I have subsequently met in ‘real life’, and some I haven’t. Although I’d like to break the social media addiction, I’m not willing to give up those positive relationships. Continue reading

Seeking simplicity in 2015 (and hopefully beyond!)

As I’ve been talking to and hearing about others’ New Years Resolutions, intentions, plans and visions for 2015, I’ve noticed a common thread: simplicity. It seems to me that this year in particular, people are seeking simpler lives. They want to focus on human relationships, on being in the moment, on gratitude and appreciation. Many have labelled mindfulness as the latest trend, and questioned the push by corporations to use it as a way of increasing productivity. I say: What a WONDERFUL trend! Because while we all know people who roll their eyes when they hear someone has adopted mindfulness, meditation, yoga or healthy eating – are these not some of the most giving trends we’ve had in years?

I am the worst offender for allowing busy-ness to take over my life and my perspective. In my last post I shared a link to an article about the disease of being busy, which questions why we forgot that we are human beings, not human doings. At a time when I was contemplating how the hell I was going to get through 2015, it served well as a slap in the face for me. I’m the first to admit that my life is over-scheduled. I’m the Mum who can only catch up for the odd play-date once a week or fortnight, and the friend who can meet for lunch – in three weeks time. Unfortunately, this is largely unavoidable – with a shift-working husband, I juggle some of my work hours flexibly when he can be home to look after the kids, and I also try to ensure we have regular family-only time, which can often fall during odd times of the week. Like other families, we also try to find a balance between ‘free’ time and regular activities, such as swimming lessons. Continue reading